These are the days

My daughter fell asleep "reading" a book, I knew that she was sleeping only by the gentle snore I heard from behind its pages. My son is sleeping with a bottle still at his lips, Im wondering if he'll aquire what I've heard of as Milk Tooth? Ava is sleeping belly button out and a tiny pony tail on her head. I am sitting in front of this screen determined to write something prolific or at least mildly entertaining. I've decided to share the dreaded weightlifting story, here goes...
I was 17 years old and a huge dork in my high school, I was barely noticed by anyone except those few I called friend, anyway I was taking some boxing/kickboxing and weight training lessons from a friend after school, and was, for once, in decent shape. I wasnt skinny, but I was strong. I signed up for a weight training class my senior year and by the grace of God, I was one of only two girls in the class along with about fifteen of the most popular boys in the school. I knew when my time came, I'd get the chance to impress them. For once I was gonna be popular maybe even respected! Well one spring day, the other girl in the class was absent, so I thought this is it, now's my chance. I jumped on this one machine that you lay on your back and sort of press the weight with your legs. Now since my legs were my strongest feature, I chose to use a leg lift machine first, you know to make the most of my appearance.... Big Mistake I put the pin into the last hole on the weight rack, meaning I was pressing the whole stack, if memory serves correctly, it was about 230 lbs. I lifted it with ease, and in my head I was thinking, " I am SOOO bitchin! look at all the guys they think I'm so cool. This is awesome" Well I laid there for the remainder of the class on this one machine just prove what great shape I was in. Oh by the way you're sort of spread eagle on this machine because one leg presses the weight at a time, having said that, with every passing minute I was sure I was securing my spot with the cool kids. I was gonna be one of them. I just knew it I could tell by the looks on their faces that they were shocked, they all kept staring at me mouths open in awe. "Woo-Hoo, this is it" I thought.... Then the bell rang and I went to the locker room to change for my next class and wouldnt you know it, to my ABSOLUTE HORROR & DISGUST I got my eff-ing period which was painstakingly obvious by the bright red bullseye on the crotch of my bright yellow eff-ing gym shorts! The room started to spin as I pondered the fact that every cool boy in the school just watched me leg press two hundred pounds for forty five minutes with a freaking bloody bullseye on my shorts! I dropped the class and signed up for work release the next day so I only went to school until 10 am for the remainder of the year. To this day, I can't tell the story without my stomach feeling all jittery. sigh.... Moral of the story, don't think that because you know in your heart that you are in fact very cool, that anyone else is going to agree with you. Don't worry I still think you're the coolest! xoxo~J

a little bit of my version of Shakespeare

Mommio, mommio, wherefore art thy cheerios,

deny thy dishes and refuse thy dog or if thou wilt not

be but awakened by mine tantrums

and I'll no longer keep mine quiet

one childs taunts drown out another childs taunting

ones pain is worsened by anothers hair pulling

true thou dost talk of dreams which thine children will ne'er allow

for this is not but a vain fantasy

to sleep, thy wilst not

to dream ohh but to dream once more......

another day in the life a stay at home mom

Sigh these are the days, the babies are sleeping, there's peanut butter in my hair, and I've had two drinks so far this evening. Life is good. I think about a day at the beach a few days ago, I was so excited to show my son the beach for the first time, I brought him to the door of our beachfront hotel just as the sun rose sure that he'd be in awe at the sight of this picturesque scene. In fact, he never saw the beach or the ocean, he couldn't have cared less. He was so fascinated by the screen door his sight never went past it.Funny that as adults we seem only to be amused by flashy and beautiful things and not just the simple ones. My son taught me a lesson that day, it doesn't matter that we should be amazed at something because its beautiful, what's important is that we never lose the ability to find beauty in things which are ordinary.

Chapter 6 50/50 or 90/10?

100% doesn’t always mean its gonna be 50/50. When talking about give and take, you must realize that you might not always be the one who will be getting the "take" side of the coin. Actually sometime its may even feel like you are doing mostly the giving part. What I mean by this is that you cant expect to have it easy, nor do I expect you though, to do all the work all the time. Realistically though, sometimes it may feel less like 50/50 and more like 90/10. So think ahead, are you prepared to say, cover the bills if your loved one gets sick? How about take full care of them if they become incapacitated? Could you picture yourself changing diapers or helping to bathe this person should they fall ill. If the answer is "I don’t know" then you simply should not get married, this person isn’t the one. Moreover, ask yourself if the tables were turned, could & would your spouse do these things for you? Again, if there is any hesitation, wait to say I do until you are sure these issues have been addressed. They are life changing and although no one wants to consider these circumstances, accidents can happen. Take for example, a family friend, we will just refer to her as Angel,. Angel and her husband were thrilled to find out that they were expecting a child, but to their dismay, they were given the news that due to a birth defect,their baby angel,would need constant support and may never walk. Was their faith shaken even a little? Nope they loved that baby with all their hearts. Then tradgedy struck again, Angel’s husband was in a near fatal car accident, suffered severe brain damage, and now needs constant care himself, he is also in a wheelchair for the most part. Now this woman devotes her life to the care and loving support of her family, I’ve never even heard her complain, she is just truly grateful to have her family around her. Now I ask you, put yourself in her shoes, could you take on her role, or would your spouse give up his life to taking care of your every need? Marriage is not something to be taken lightly, Too many people act as though getting married shouldnt be a stressful thing at all, afterall, if the going gets tough, you can just get a divorce. This cannot be the case for much longer, people must get to know one another before taking this huge plunge. Having said that, you must be willing to compromise when it comes to "non life altering" activities. Are you ok with watching the game on Sundays instead of watching Laguna Beach marathons? Is your spouse willing to give up hockey tickets to go with you to the ballet? I’m not saying that if you get married you can never have any fun again and that it means you have to do all the stuff you hate to please the other person, but here is where compromise comes in, maybe you can skip the game and watch your shows in your bedroom, or perhaps your man can get tickets for his game on another night. You must be able to talk these things through or it will be just one other little string coming undone in the rope that is your marriage. For your own sake, if you cant compromise, especially about these little things, you need to reexamine your life together. If a football game can really get you upset enough to fight over, what will happen if the crap really hits the fan one day? Aside from fairytales, no marriage is perfect, there will be ups and downs, a good marriage will withstand the ebb and flows.

babies babies babies

Babies babies babies_ my husband and I were married for 23 days before we got pregnant, nine months and one week later our baby girl was born, and let me tell you those who dont know, when you have a new baby around the marriage is strianed, im not saying it makes the marriage worse, im just saying trust me you'll notice a difference. aside from the lack of sleep there is this incredible rush of hormones that will make you feel like bursting into tears at the drop of a hat youd be surprised what yoll cry over, I actually burst into tears one day at Boston Market because they guy took too long to give me my plate, or the time I was sobbing during Jumanji

chapter 5 the not so great days

The not so great days- today i didi three loads of laundry to go with the 7 loads i still have to fold and the two still waiting in the wings, tried to cook a chicken, but it was so frozen that even after a long defrost session in the microwave I still couldnt get the damn guts out of the center that I ended up hacking the thing to bits and throwing most away. I had a cup of tea and felt guilty over the poor chicken who died mostly in vain, my children cried a lot my two year old had several accicents one in her brand new character undies, my husband didnt get his promotion, so hes in no mood for conversation, my 1 year old had a fascination with the training potty, my dog ate poop, ( i caught her later licking the baby...sigh....)my hair looks like crap and I have a big zit

Chapter4

For gosh sakes, try… How many of us have gone completely out of our way to make sure our other half feels special? How often has this feeling been reciprocated? I suppose this chapter could go under give and take, but it has a little subtext.First of all, although I asked how often you are made to feel special in return, please dont think it necessary that you be swept off your feet everyday of your married life,I mean it would be nice, but think about it, if your husband told you every single day that you were so beautiful and gorgeous, it would be nice for a while, but soon it would lose its luster. You’d start to wonder if he meant it or was just saying it to please you. Here’s a fun game for those of you that just have to hear compliments often, everyday you and your spouse think of one great thing about the other, and tell them; the catch, you cant say the same thing twice, it will be a nice way to remind eachother of all the little things that you think are great about eachother. I mean maybe you didn’t know that he thinks its so sexy when you bend over to get to the dust bunnies under the bed. Maybe he doesnt know that you think its cute when he plays board games with the kids, this is game that requires very little effort, but the results will go a long way.

Chapter 3

Stop with the headaches OK this is the chapter that I’m sure will get a few feminists upset, I’ve entitled it, Stop with all the headaches. I’m sure you get what I’m talking about. Actually I cant take credit for this thought all on my own, you see, my grandmother in law told me this advice when I had my bridal shower. " honey never get a headache, and you’ll have a happy husband" Let me elaborate on that.( I just thought I’d add here that This lady had ten kids) We all know that lovemaking is a very important part of marriage, if it wasn’t, the number one reason for divorce wouldn’t be infidelity excuse me I mean "irreconcilable differances".I know its sad to say, but its true. I know that everyone of you out there has had a night when Mr. Right turns into his alter ego Mr. Frisky, and I also know that there are times when you’d really rather go to sleep then go to the trouble. I understand completely, but do we have to become the stereotypical wife that is constantly refusing her husband? We give new meaning to becoming an "old wives tale" Really though, its not that hard to just get in the mood, if he’s not doing the right stuff, point blank, show him. If youre going to woken up in the middle of the night, and are expected to do all the work, he’d better at least be able to ring the bell before the train comes to a stop if you know what I mean… ps you can burn enough calories to skip the gym the next day, - a workout AND you’ll get to sleep in! Also , I want you to get a mental picture of what it is you usually wear to sleep at night, got it? Lemme guess this outfit will never grace the cover of Victorias secret right? Now, while I’m not suggesting that you go out and pickup the black stillettoes, and a riding crop, Ill bet you would feel sexier in a pretty night gown. Little things like this really make a difference, perhaps if you ditch the flannel, and the plaid and go for maybe something a little shorter and perhaps see through or silky who knows what might happen. I guarantee you’ll at least get his attention. You are beautiful to him I don’t care if you’ve had five kids and youre stretchmarked from head to toe, this person married you and no matter what changes about you, he still sees the beautiful bride he married be it a year ago or five decades ago. We all know that nothing is sexier than a little self confidance anyway, so why not take ten extra minutes a day to start doing your makeup again, or picking out an outfit that shows your figure. I’m not saying become a Barbie doll, but I fell into the trap after I had my baby, I would get a shower, jump into some sweats, toss up the hair and forget about any chance of makeup. I was pretty much settled to the fact that I had the official "mom" figure. Then I finally realized that that’s a bunch of crap!! I started back intyo my old routine of actually caring agin, I felt better, my husband took immediate notice and I was happier. Make sure though, that you do it for yourself, not your husband he will just get to reap the benefits!!! you gorgeous beauty queen!

Mr Right Chapter 2

Chapter 2
Ok so you’ve found your nice guy, or at least your are looking. Here's the next piece of crap advice I’ve heard lately, the three date rule, for those not familiar with this rule it means that you should wait until you’ve had three dates before you sleep with someone. Let’s think about this for a second, take a step back; three freaking dates? This could mean that you met someone, accepted a date, saw that person only three more times and then had sex with them, I had more fittings with my wedding dress before it saw me naked!!when did society get in such a rush to have sex? We have so strangled the love and romance out of this most intimate action, that we cant even call it what it is. Think about it, you have three dates, lets say two dinners and a movie, what's that a total of maybe ten hours , & you are now supposed to have sex?!?!? Are you kidding me??now let me ask you, all you people who are going, "are my gosh what a prude" you who say that three dates is plenty, would you be willing to tell this person things like your social security number? Your bank account number? Hell, would you even let them borrow your car? Hell no right,you know why, because you don’t know them, you haven’t built up that trust yet and again to be blunt now you're supposed to sleep with them?? Think about that. We as a society are so hell bent or doing everything faster shorter and with less emotion that we are eliminating our intimate side altogether,. I for one say, just for an experiment, even though you might be dating a nice guy now, how about you wait to have sex until you CAN talk about those extremely personal things, at least give your body as much respect as you give your credit cards!!

Mr.Right

This is a page of random thoughts , so that if I ever get off my butt and try to put them together in some sort of working order, I’ll at least has a starting point.
I am considering a article in which I will explain in plain and simple terms my own thoughts for creating a happy relationship. I know that many Will not agree with me and some feminists will think I’ve just sent them back fifty years, but I feel the need to say whats on my mind, listen if you like, or if not, pass my thoughts on to someone else. Let me start at the beginning, I am a 27 year old woman, (I know I know, what the hell do I know about marriage and relationships right?) Well, before you judge me, hear me out. First a little family history, my grandmother, was engaged to a man in the early forties, until the day she came across a picture of a man that she knew in her heart was the one she was supposed to marry, keep in mind this was a total stranger, and yet she felt so strongly about it that she actually broke her engagement that day. I know crazy right? But she felt she couldn’t marry anyone when she had these types of feelings, (I mean give her some credit, most women would have brushed these feelings off as cold feet, but I digress) anyway, as fate would have it, about a week later, she happened to be at a party where the man in the photograph would be in attendance, and get this, he totally brushed her off!!! That day that is, less then a week later she mustered up the courage to ask him for a date, and that was that, they fell madly in love and got married later that year and stayed married until his death in 2002. I know what you're thinking, big deal right? Well then there’s my mother, who was working as a waitress and a customer walked through the door, my mother took one look at that man and said out loud to the person standing next to her that she would marry that man during the second week of may, she said this in October, their wedding anniversary is may 14th, this year will be their 32nd. And then there's me, I didn’t have quite the all seeing eye as the rest of the women in my family seemed to have been blessed with, I apparently had the opposite, or so I thought, you see I dated every type of loser, The abusive loser, the drinker loser, the says "I love you after a week" loser, the hippie pot smoker work is for chumps loser, & . Oh man don’t you hate this guy… the loser loser this is the guy that will never amount to anything, but feels the need to tell you over and over that you’ll never do any better than his stinking ass!Ladies I’m here to tell you that he is so wrong, and so in your past and over with that he should just be a sad pathetic afterthought while you are basking in the beauty of your new found freedom. I know this is easier said than done, but wait my story gets better, After a recent breakup up with a troll, who can only be described as a combination of loser loser, abusive loser, and drinker loser, I was hell bent on becoming a lesbian nun, I was done with boys but not quite willing to switch sides just yet. So of course this would be when I would meet My Mr. Right (this is what I’ll refer to my husband as for the remainder of this story) Only I refused to look at him that way, even though we were going on dates all the time, I would still right myself notes, Don’t get attached" and leave them on my desk at work. Well this worked for a few weeks until, I knew I was completely in love with this man, :note I said man, not loser. I came home from our tenth date and told my roommate to write her maid of honor speech, we came home from our honeymoon on the day of our two year anniversary of dating. Stay with me if you can bare it, if you cant you probably aren’t ready for the commitment of marriage and should probably not read any further.I know I'm still a fledgling when it comes to this whole marriage scene but I've had great role models, I know what works, Period. the secret to a happy marriage depends on how willing people are to know themselves and each other before making the decision to walk down the aisle.
First things first, I want all of you to take your idea of the perfect physical man or woman into your mind, have you got it, now, add fifteen pounds, a weird scar or mole somewhere, a loud snore and bad gas if they eat too many vegetables. This is probably as close to perfect as you will get.Let’s face it, people aren’t perfect, I'm not, Mr. Right is not, and dare I say it, you're not either, no matter how many times you tell the you in the mirror that you are. So right off the bat you’ve got to get the idea of perfection out of your head, think back how many times did you cancel a date or give a fake phone number to some poor schlep that had bad breath or was a little fuller around the midsection that you’d like, Only to accept a date with the hot asshole who treats you like just another piece of meat or like it wouldn’t matter if you were there or not. I know I'm guilty of it. Meanwhile the guy with the bad breath brushes his teeth and sweeps the next lucky lady off her feet and they move to Maui to his mansion, because you didn’t give him a chance to say his job is healing the sick and donating some of his millions to underprivileged kids in 3rd world countries . And loves to ski horseback and every other thing you love. But now you're stuck with hot asshole. OK I know I’m exaggerating big time, but It could happen so first things first, realize that while I'm not saying to go out with every creepy or strange guy that asks you out, nobody’s perfect, not even you. Take it from me, nice guys don’t finish last, they make good husbands.