Chapter 6 50/50 or 90/10?

100% doesn’t always mean its gonna be 50/50. When talking about give and take, you must realize that you might not always be the one who will be getting the "take" side of the coin. Actually sometime its may even feel like you are doing mostly the giving part. What I mean by this is that you cant expect to have it easy, nor do I expect you though, to do all the work all the time. Realistically though, sometimes it may feel less like 50/50 and more like 90/10. So think ahead, are you prepared to say, cover the bills if your loved one gets sick? How about take full care of them if they become incapacitated? Could you picture yourself changing diapers or helping to bathe this person should they fall ill. If the answer is "I don’t know" then you simply should not get married, this person isn’t the one. Moreover, ask yourself if the tables were turned, could & would your spouse do these things for you? Again, if there is any hesitation, wait to say I do until you are sure these issues have been addressed. They are life changing and although no one wants to consider these circumstances, accidents can happen. Take for example, a family friend, we will just refer to her as Angel,. Angel and her husband were thrilled to find out that they were expecting a child, but to their dismay, they were given the news that due to a birth defect,their baby angel,would need constant support and may never walk. Was their faith shaken even a little? Nope they loved that baby with all their hearts. Then tradgedy struck again, Angel’s husband was in a near fatal car accident, suffered severe brain damage, and now needs constant care himself, he is also in a wheelchair for the most part. Now this woman devotes her life to the care and loving support of her family, I’ve never even heard her complain, she is just truly grateful to have her family around her. Now I ask you, put yourself in her shoes, could you take on her role, or would your spouse give up his life to taking care of your every need? Marriage is not something to be taken lightly, Too many people act as though getting married shouldnt be a stressful thing at all, afterall, if the going gets tough, you can just get a divorce. This cannot be the case for much longer, people must get to know one another before taking this huge plunge. Having said that, you must be willing to compromise when it comes to "non life altering" activities. Are you ok with watching the game on Sundays instead of watching Laguna Beach marathons? Is your spouse willing to give up hockey tickets to go with you to the ballet? I’m not saying that if you get married you can never have any fun again and that it means you have to do all the stuff you hate to please the other person, but here is where compromise comes in, maybe you can skip the game and watch your shows in your bedroom, or perhaps your man can get tickets for his game on another night. You must be able to talk these things through or it will be just one other little string coming undone in the rope that is your marriage. For your own sake, if you cant compromise, especially about these little things, you need to reexamine your life together. If a football game can really get you upset enough to fight over, what will happen if the crap really hits the fan one day? Aside from fairytales, no marriage is perfect, there will be ups and downs, a good marriage will withstand the ebb and flows.